Domestic Issues
by ahpai
Summary: A series of oneshots of complications in everyday domestic life when living with an unpredictable Yami. Can be read individually with only slight reference amongst the issues. Slight Y.BakuraXRyou hints, non fluff.
1. Bathroom Issues

Bathroom Issues

(a.k.a Because Spirits Do Need Some Entertainment)

By ahpai

* * *

It never really occurred to Ryou before that a dilemma of such would arise, really. After all, the Spirit of the Sennen Ring rarely chose to materialize separately around him, preferring to just take control over his body or communicate via their minds (but mostly take control over his body). Even if he did, he did not stay around very long as the tomb robber was not the best of conversationalists and Ryou did not have anything to say that the Yami could not pick up himself if he chose to.

The change, Ryou did not see coming. He could not comprehend the tomb robber most of the time, and one small habitual change of the old spirit he did not take much notice of. It did not bother him any more than whatever his Yami has ever done already did.

Not at first, at least.

-

Unlike popular belief, Yami Bakura did not spend all his waking hours plotting to get his hands on the other Sennen Items. Considering the fact that being a spirit meant that he did not require sleep, those hours were _long. _Most often boring, as his Soul Room was hardly a cozy place. Contributing to it all was the fact that his little landlord was too decent a person for his liking. In fact, residing in the boy's mind, he was very much like a parasite demon corrupting an angel from inside out, which he rather felt was close to the truth anyway.

But every man (or spirit, ahem) needed a source of entertainment.

So Yami Bakura simply decided at one point to materialize himself physically outside of the Ring and his host. And chose an inappropriate moment of Ryou undressing himself to bathe to do so.

He found his host's reaction to be highly amusing.

-

Taking baths hadn't been Ryou's habit until recently as it gave significant impact to his water bills. But just like everything else in his recent life that has changed, this habit was brought about due to a certain thousands year old spirit of an Egyptian tomb robber currently residing in the gold relic sitting atop the water taps. Taking baths gave him a chance to think over certain events and complications brought by said spirit, or to relax when he didn't want to think.

Right that moment was an example of when he needed to think. Or not think. He wasn't sure.

Ryou sighed and reached out for the Sennen Ring. He studied it, spreading foam across its glinting surface as his fingers traced the carving of the wdjat eye in the middle of the triangle center-piece. The Ring was beautiful, just as it was eerie. From the moment his skin first made contact with it, he already felt that he would not ever be able to let go of it.

Ever since the incident that day when he almost got shocked out of his skin to find the Spirit of Ring standing right behind him, leaning against his closet casually and watching him undress out of his school clothes, he had been a nervous wreck. He couldn't change without checking his back several times first, and he kept trying to give reasons to why, without as much as an "Excuse me", his Yami had suddenly decided to do what Yuugi's Yami always did.

The white-haired boy closed his eyes, deciding that he didn't want to think about it. For a fleeting second, he wondered if Yuugi ever got awkward with the Pharaoh's spirit or if they were too much like siblings to be uncomfortable. His relationship with _his_ Yami, however, was that there _was_ no relationship.

It bothered him when he realized that he was really thinking about it after all...

-

Ryou did not realize exactly how long he had been soaking in the tub as he had unwillingly dozed off. He estimated a good hour, seeing as the water had turned cold and his fingers looked like prunes. He searched the bottom of the tub with his fingers for the Ring which had slipped out of his hands, and placed it back atop the taps. Then he stood up and pulled away the plastic curtains to reach for his towel.

"Boo."

Ryou froze a split second to register the voice. In the bathroom. With him. "B-BAKURA??!!!"

-

His little landlord sputtered in panic and immediately sunk back under the foamy surface of the water until the bubbles reached his chin.

Yami Bakura stood by the tub, leaning casually against the tiled walls, staring down at the very embarrassed boy with a flicker of amusement in his eyes and a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "Not done turning yourself into human prune?" he drawled, "I was of the impression that you were about to get out, yadonushi."

The boy just sputtered something incoherent in reply.

"Don't be such a _girl_, yadonushi," he continued, stepping closer to the tub and deliberately fixing Ryou with a stare that made his host uncomfortable in many ways.

Ryou, whose face had gone a delicate shade of pink, was making big efforts to not meet his Yami's stare. "What are you doing in here?!"

"Is it not obvious enough?"

Ryou just gaped at him helplessly, frantic written all over his face.

Damn, the boy was cute. And amusing. But mostly cute. "You wouldn't tell me that you don't want me around, would you?"

"I wouldn't say I want you around either..." Ryou mumbled quietly.

"What was that?" The tone of the spirit's voice had taken on a dangerous nuance.

"Nothing! I didn't mean it- actually I do, no, I don't! I don't!"

Yami Bakura threw back his head and laughed as his host floundered. He heard every single word of it, but it did not matter; he knew very well how his vessel felt about the idea of sharing his body anyway. However, he never expected his current reincarnation to be a kid with such humility, even though he knew such habits were influenced more strongly by upbringing and not much can be said about his own. While he would not think twice of calling the trait anything along the lines of "not being a real man", it still amused him greatly, the extent of his host's shyness.

Of course, it did help that his landlord's physical appearance made the actions more appealing. While they shared the same white head, his little host could somehow wear it like a sheath of innocence, something he will never achieve.

"Bakura, please, I can't get out like this! Not when you're...um. Staring..."

"And why not? Am I not a part of you?"

Ryou just gave him an incredulous look, his face flushed. "Because it's not proper to stare! And you're... you..."

Yami Bakura laughed derisively. "Not _proper? Please_, save that speech. It does nothing to me."

"...Then... could you... kinda... look that way for a while please?"

Pleading. The boy was pleading.

"No," he replied, thoroughly enjoying the look of dismay dawning on his landlord's face. "I'd rather not, actually."

"...What are you trying to get at, Bakura? What are you trying to do?" The boy was beginning to verge on panicking.

Yami Bakura shrugged. "I don't know." He cocked an eyebrow, smile gone rather nasty. "Watch, maybe."

Ryou immediately made a terrific show of choking, and Yami Bakura had to wonder how much soap water the boy swallowed in the process.

-

_The Gods must hate me..._ Ryou thought miserably, torn between wishing that Yami Bakura did not find him as amusing as he did and that he wasn't so self-conscious of his own body. He imagined that, in his place, Jounouchi, say, would just step out of the tub without any qualms, probably even throw an indignant retort with no sense of humility or modesty whatsoever.

Ryou couldn't help being reserved as he is. Being alone for so long could do that to a person, and having another person suddenly barging in on his personal space was certainly not something he could handle. Not this drastically, anyway.

"You're not a girl, yadonushi. What would a scrawny little brat like you possibly want to hide?"

Plus the fact that Yami was _Yami_.

"You cannot stay in there forever, yadonushi, and I have a lot more patience than you probably think I do," the tomb robber continued to drawl, sounding very much like a confident, smug feline taunting its prey.

Yami Bakura was right on that; he couldn't very well stay in the tub forever. He was going to have to do it. He was going to get out of there, dignity intact. He was not going to let his Yami get the better of him. Not over this matter, anyway.

He was going to use 'The Ostrich Tactic'.

-

Yami Bakura had to admit, he had not been in such good humor ever since Ryou became the vessel for his spirit. Hell, he wasn't sure when was the last time he got that much amused over anything.

Granted, he had thought of Ryou as nothing short of pathetic and useless, and never paid two cents worth of notice on the boy himself before. He knew enough of the boy's mannerisms, studied that much, to be able to pull off a personality disguise in front of the damn Pharaoh and his friends, but other than to make a move on the Sennen Puzzle or other Sennen items, there was little for him to do while taking over his host's body. His host's daily schedule was mostly uninterrupted as he didn't find the boy much worthy of his attention.

Until now.

He did not know whether to laugh or to be dumbfounded at this point. As far as his villainous characteristics prevailed, it would be much too out of character for him to be staring goggle-eyed. So he settled for sniggering aloud when Ryou squeezed his eyes tightly shut and shot up from the waters. The boy grappled for the towel stand as he sloshed out of the bathtub in a great hurry, keeping his back facing the general direction of the tomb robber.

It gave Yami Bakura a rather good view of his innocent landlord's rear end.

Did the boy honestly think that it would make him feel better if he didn't have to _look_ at the Yami, even as he flaunted every inch of his skin at said Yami's vision? By Ra, the boy was _hilarious._

"Nice ass, yadonushi," Bakura commented in an offhand tone. "Of course, my physical condition had once been much more flattering than your scrawny little hide, but I suppose a tight, pink ass such as yours has its appeal as well."

Ryou practically tripped on his wet feet. He hastily wrapped the towel around his waist and spun around to keep his back against the bathroom wall this time, his blush spreading from ear to ear. "_Bakura!!!_"

Yami Bakura was smirking now, slipping his hands into his (or rather, Ryou's) jean pockets as he leaned off the wall and, with slow deliberation, advanced towards the boy. He stared at his own hand as he spoke, "What a pity, to not have my own physical body. Did you know, yadonushi, I always had a thing for innocent, fairer-skinned youths? They were quite hard to come by where I come from in my times, but you can sometimes find one or two at market slave pens... or _brothel houses_."

If possible, Ryou's blush intensified, his entire body sizing up as one arm desperately reached for another towel to cover his torso.

Yami Bakura chuckled, narrowing his eyes in a predatory fashion at his host, "Yes, most unfortunate... " He reached his hand out at Ryou's neck.

-

Fortunately, there was only that many hours a day that Yami Bakura was able to keep his physical form. Ryou could never thank God enough when, fingers just inches way from him, Yami Bakura's body suddenly distorted horribly and dissipated slowly back into the Ring several feet away, the Yami's scowling face the last thing he saw.

He took several deep breaths, eyeing the Ring wearily. He slowly neared it to pick it up again.

/_Luck be with you this time, yadonushi/_ Bakura's voice immediately resounded in his head, making him almost drop the Ring in his grasp. /_But unless you plan to stop taking baths, there are some things you will not be able to hide, not especially from me..._/

By the Gods, was he actually close to being molested by a spirit?!

Ryou suddenly became very afraid of the next time the spirit felt the need to take control of his body, wondering exactly what condition he'd wake up from to find his body in.

/_You imagine these images yourself and you think of me as a sick pervert?/ _Yami Bakura commented in a disapproving tone._ /How insulting, boy. My... preferences may not meet your approval, but rest assured, I am hardly that desperate. After all, seeing your reaction had been the most precious part of it... Until next time, yadonushi.../ _With that, the mental link to the Ring cut off.

Staring at the gold relic, Ryou belatedly realized that, from then on, going to the bathroom was going to be a problem.

-END-


	2. Clothing Issues

Clothing Issues

(a.k.a Because Yami Bakura Had To Have Gotten The Trench Coat Somewhere)

By ahpai

Ryou stared.

And stared harder.

He blinked, shook his head, and resumed staring.

Anyone watching the white-haired boy at his current moment of bafflement would not fail to wonder just what the hell a boy could possibly be doing, staring dumbfounded into his very own wardrobe.

A dismal predicament over realizing that none of his clothing is suitable for a special date, perhaps? Or being ordered to clean up his wardrobe which he had avoided from attempting for the past, oh, decade, say, and for good reason? Maybe even finding that a rat had somehow gotten into it the night before and died there?

To be exact, Ryou Bakura was not staring at his wardrobe interiors in general, but rather his wide, brown eyes (for they were very wide indeed then) were focusing on a rather... special piece of clothing. One that he never remembered ever buying, and, living all by himself, he _did_, as a matter of fact, buy his own clothes. One that he would not even set his eyes on for longer than two seconds if he ever saw it in a department store, and for varying reasons.

For one, it contrasted too much with his hair.

Ryou bent to pick up the object of his scrutiny for the past ten minutes from where it was careless dumped in a heap in the back corner of his otherwise neatly kept wardrobe. The material was heavy in his arms. He shook it out to its full length where it swept down and pooled a little on the floor, quite dismayed that it was, in fact, what he suspected it would be.

A black, full-length trench coat.

Ryou sighed. He stared at the piece of clothing and wondered if by _any_ chance at all, he could somehow return it to its rightful owner. It was a redundant question, though, and he knew it. He already had a _very_ strong suspicion of how it ended up there anyway. He checked the designer tag at the back of the trench coat collar, and nearly dropped the trench coat. One thing was sure, the person (or, rather, entity) responsible for this had _terrific_ taste in designer-line clothing.

_/But of course, I do. One does one's best, don't they say?/_

Ryou promptly dropped the trench coat this time, quite understandably startled. His Yami did not speak to him on normal occasions (or _any_ occasion at all, for that matter), and the last time he did out of pure amusement, the outcome had been rather... disturbing. Even now he still took quick showers instead of long baths, just to be safe.

_/You are _quite_ the darling, aren't you, now. Do bear in mind that I haven't forgotten about the bathroom issue. Now pick it up; I'd like to have another good look at my, ah, new property./_

_/It's not yours to begin with/ _Ryou thought accusingly, but bent to pick the trench coat up anyway.

_/Grown a backbone already, haven't we. Last I checked you were moderately terrified of me./_

_/... Well, stealing _clothes_ off of someone's back is just wrong.../_

_/There's no need to get prissy about it, yadonushi./_

_/Prissy?!/ _

_/After all you've gone through with me, _clothing, _of all things, should be a little lower down your list of things you detest about me, and I know you have one./_

_/You bloody stole it! Probably robbed it right off the man in a, a street alley!/_

_/Oh, such brilliant observation skills. As it is, I highly doubt if the man who so kindly part with it for my sake would be in any need of this anymore.../_

Ryou did not ask what had happened to the man or even the conditions of the exchange, quite certain that he wouldn't want to know.

_/Put it on./_

_/What? No!/_

_/I said put it on./_

_/I think it would be better if I just-/_

_/It's a damn trench coat, yadonushi. What else do you do with a trench coat?!/_

_/I don't know- eat it?/_

_/Do we need to get unpleasant now, yadonushi? Do you have a sudden desire to be in your Soul Room again? I _have_ been too soft on you lately.../_

Ryou bit his lower lip uncertainly. As much as he disapproved, it was a fact that he could do nothing to amend things, and just throwing it away would be such a waste... Not to mention the fact that he most certainly did _not _miss his Soul Room. He gripped the material in his hands a little tighter, and then quickly pulled the trench coat on over his t-shirt and jeans. He reasoned that if it was unsuitable, he would pack it off for charity.

_/How noble. Of course, one would wonder how a little minor like you with no significant wealth or connection could possibly come in possession of such a material. Bound to raise questions, no?/_

Ryou ignored the sarcasm, working on wearing the trench coat. He pushed his mass of white hair out over the black material and straightened it properly.

To his utmost dismay, with the exception of a slightly wider shoulder cut, it fitted him more or less perfectly. It dropped to his ankles at _just_ the right length, and the sleeves were _precise_. The buckle, too, would wrap around his waist just nice.

_/It would be such a scar on my pride if I do not get even my own size right./_

My_ size./_

_/Same difference./_

Ryou stared at his own image at the full-length mirror installed in the inside of his wardrobe door.

He felt ridiculous.

There was the other reason why he would never consider a trench coat in his winter-clothing list. He did not have the _style_ to pull it off. He did not know just _how_ to _walk_ wearing this thing. He did not have the ability to somehow have it flare out confidently and dramatically behind him.

In short, he was not Seto Kaiba.

_/I find such comparison to be rather offensive, yadonushi. To my credit, I wear it just fine./_

_/You do realize this is going to a waste anyhow? You could've stolen a jacket or something- what am I talking about.../_

_/Not my fault that you haven't an ounce of style in your veins. And jackets are hardly stylish enough./_

_/I am who you are in this lifetimee, remember? And there's nothing wrong with jackets./_

_/No, as a matter of fact, you are not. You are my match, my perfect vessel, nothing more. Compatibility of body does not result in traits that run true. Would you like me to continue our dispute over jackets?/_

Ryou remained mute.

_/I rather thought so./ _

Ryou sighed again.

Then, decidedly, he shrugged the trench coat off, folded it as compactly as he could manage, kneeled, pulled open a rather specially reserved drawer in his wardrobe, and stuffed the black material into it alongside all the other pieces of expensive and black clothing, gold valuables, Duel Monster cards, and a whole Duel Disc that the Spirit of the Ring had somehow swiped while being in possession of _his_ body and blocking _his_ mind out in those times so that he did not remember a single, _bloody_ thing that happened (pun not entirely unintended) and is left to deal with matters when he regained consciousness.

He shut the drawer and turned the key to lock it resolutely, all the while having his Yami's slightly maniacal laughter ringing in his mind.

After all, it would take a lot of explaining if Yuugi and the rest somehow stumble upon the items someday.

He straightened up and headed towards his kitchen, now wondering to cook or throw away the bloody slabs of meat he found in his refrigerator's meat-freezer compartment just this morning.

-END-

Thank you **Emiko87** and **CatF** for your reviews!

If anybody has ideas for more day-to-day issues, feel free to let me know! I might just use them


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